Turns out there’s something to that whole “Do Unto Others” thing
I don’t know exactly when the term Pay It Forward became an established part of the American lexicon. I remember a movie by that title a few years ago. But it was riding popular consciousness rather than starting the conversation.
Well, whoever started this ball rolling, we owe them a debt of thanks. Few approaches to life carry such value and power, on so many levels.
We can see examples of it everywhere. Even better, we can provide examples everywhere. Let’s start on a small scale. A few years ago, my wife and I were going through a drive up at a fast food place. When we got to the payment window, we were amazed to hear that the driver of the car in front of us had paid for our order. Someone we did not know, and never would know, as they had left by the time we learned of their kindness.
You may have heard similar stories – they have become commonplace. But at the time, this was something new. We were blown away with the unfettered act of sharing it represented. Naturally, we picked up the habit. For years now, we have said thank you to that single act of kindness – by paying it forward. Our hope is that those we covered do the same, spreading the gesture.
I will admit – sometimes I am tempted to check for political bumper stickers on the vehicle behind me before I spring for their iced tea. But that would be contrary to the spirit of the whole thing, wouldn’t it? If you have never done this small version of pay it forward, I encourage you to do so from time to time. You can’t imagine how good it feels.
We all see stories of someone loaning bus fare or providing change for another to buy something. Invariably, the donor insists that no payback is expected . The recipient, while grateful, feels a bit awkward. How easy to make this human kindness even better. The donor notes it is their pleasure to help and they hope the recipient will do the same for someone else. The recipient gratefully accepts this gift, knowing that a way to repay it will present itself shortly.
Win-Win-Win. A perpetual motion machine of good will and kindness.
How about a little more consistent effort? Clif Christopher, in his excellent book Not Your Parents’ Offering Plate, tells the story of a minister who every week buys a pack of thank-you notes. He put them in his top desk drawer, with the mission of using them throughout the week.
By the end of a week, he has thanked about a dozen people for gestures and gifts large and small. Many replied that no one had ever sent them such a note. They were grateful and inspired by his simple act of paying it forward by acknowledgement of a gift.
Now, on to a larger scale. I have worked in recent years with many congregations and nonprofits. I enjoy reminding the members that they are a middle generation. They benefit daily from the efforts of founders long gone. They enjoy the fruits of people they never knew, people who left them a wonderful gift. Add to that the fact they will pass on this community they cherish to others they do not know and may never meet. Many of them are not even yet born.
How does one connect all these generations? How does one say thanks to people long gone? By paying it forward, of course. We commit to the long-term health of that which we value and say thanks to our predecessors by passing it on in good shape. Those who follow us can do the same. It’s another perpetual motion machine of good will and good outcomes.
I long ago reached a point in thinking about all this so that I am looking for a way to pay it forward for something every day. Sometimes, it’s a large (for us) contribution to an endowment. Sometimes it’s a free cup of coffee for someone in a fast food line. Either way, it works.
Step up and do the same, regularly. Trust me, you will want to thank me once you get the habit. And how could you thank me? Hmm…
Bill Clontz
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